Where I failed

Image credit: shutterstock.com | jesadaphorn

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose

– Bill Gates

Some time ago I spent a week coaching business executives in an idyllic hotel in the mountains of Austria. It sounds restful, but to be fully present for their clients, coaches ideally need a clear head and a clear diary. However, I had a problem. At the same time, I was preparing to launch Coachify™ and my diary was out of control. My task list was endless and I had a series of urgent and important deadlines to meet.

In The Red Zone

My solution? To work harder. Each day I got up at 4.30am to work for 3 hours before the start of the coaching day. I was fielding emails and calls, and my mind was full of small tasks to complete and strategic challenges to solve. All this meant that I didn’t get enough exercise and I didn’t eat well either. My sleep app told me that I averaged 4.5 hours of sleep per night that week, off the back of an already exhausting schedule. I was in the red zone.

I pushed myself like this to get things done. Yet while the list was long and the goals good, it was neither healthy nor sustainable. At one level, I didn’t have the support in place to help me launch well. More deeply, I was afraid of launching something that didn’t work and of failing to live life in the way I was communicating to others. I’d feared failing before I’d begun.

Facing the Challenge

Facing up to this challenge, I learned several things. Sometimes there is a specific task and you just need to knuckle down. I recall the final period before I handed in my doctorate. Sometimes you just get crazy weeks of extremely hard work. But if this becomes a pattern, it becomes a problem, and that week in Austria felt problematic for me.

How to Respond

As I reflected on this, I realised there are 4 steps that are important in situations like this:

1. Accept that fear and failure are normal parts of the human condition.
2. Ask yourself what you can learn from these situations, not how to protect yourself against them.
3. Create a new rhythm that is sustainable.
4. Move towards that rhythm in small steps.

For example:

1. The one thing I got right in Austria is that I went easy on myself, in terms of what I was telling myself.
2. Although it took weeks, I learned that having people around me who can help me plan and project manage is vital. And that although I fear failure, I am also confident that I am building a business that will allow many to flourish
3. My sustainable rhythm involves getting 8 hours sleep per night, waking up at 6am, having some quiet time and starting work, and then spending an hour with my family before Lily goes to school. This rhythm also includes doing sport at least 3 times per week – a 10k run, a cycle ride, a HIIT session or a gym visit.
4. From the lows of my poor time management in Austria, the first small step for me was to get more sleep.

What next?

Where have you failed? How did you respond? What steps have you put in place since? Share your learning with others here, for their benefit and mine.